This series of books retells Decumus Scotti's adventures in Valenwood during the 5 years war between it and Elsweyr.
A published letter from an anonymous spy about the game Prince Helseth cleverly played at the dinner between him and his Councilors.
A folk tale about black soulgems.
The series of fascinating adapted tales.
Decumus Scotti's adventures in Argonia after his "business trip" to Valenwood (described in A Dance in Fire).
The tale of a Valenwood prince who receives unexpected powers from Namira.
These two books (combined) are one of the series of books featuring Hallgerd, Xiomara and Garaz. Nice story about the invention of medium armor.
The story of a thief trying to get at his treasure.
A creepy story about a soldier and a ghostly woman.
The story of a skilled, but unfortunate, thief.
A story about Asliel Direnni, an accomplished Alchemist of the Direnni clan.
A legend about a dying pirate king's ghost.
The life of Eslaf Erol, ironical and completely ludicrous.
The classic tale of scribe and his enchanted quill.
Another lesson imparted by the Great Sage (from the Feyfolken books) to his students.
As Hallgerd's stated: "This is a story about someone who was more agile and accomplished in his armor than out of it".
How ice and chitin saved an Officer and her Lieutenant from an army.
A tale about a vampire hunter who likes to surprise his enemies by striking the first blow. Nothing seems to take him by surprise. Well... Almost.
Four adventurers set out to clear a cemetery from vampires. Exults the benefits of illusion magic.
A choose-your-own adventure book.
This book has it all -- romance, slavery, and head lopping!
The classic story about political intrigue in the royal family of Camlorn.
An assassin tells of how he removed the crown prince of Sentinel.
The legend of two doomed lovers.
A story about how Gortwog won the land between Menevia and Wayrest.
The classic, relatable tale of a boy in love with his friend's mother. Great ending.
A young girl learns a valuable skill from a master thief
An archeologist's adventure in the fabled ruin.
A tale about a robbery gone horribly, horribly awry.
A story about armorers, and how to use specific armor to fight in special conditions.
The story of the devlopment of a Morag Tong assassin who exclusively used the axe during business hours. Raises your Axe skill.
A tale which shows that nobles do not always get what they want.
An amusing story about a clever alchemist and greedy thieves.
The death-bed tale of an old Argonian explorer. Features some backstory on those gemstone claw keys.
This is the story of a young girl named Vralla. When she becomes ill, her parents are told to go to the Mages Guild at Olenveld for help. Vralla gets better in the end, sort of.
An amusing story of two friends, one a self-centered buffoon and the other a quiet but gifted warrior, reuniting for some idle archery.
A tale of a child blessed by a prophesy and the interpretaion thereof.
Yana is a locksmithing student who is interested in the theory and technique of the craft more than the practical considerations of it. Arthcamu is her impatient, pragmatic, and cruel instructor. By the end of the story, one of their deaths is imminent!
The basic argument against mistreating your Bosmer slaves, especially those with exeptional bow ability.
A story about an exceptional fighter and his showdown with his greatest enemy.
A fascinating epic set in the aftermath of the War with the Dwemer and House Dagoth. A story of secrets, betrayal, survival, love, incest and redmeption, this is one you can't miss.
A classic! The story of Barenziah, her life, and her involvement in the politics of Tamriel. Pretty raunchy in places.
An amusing tale of a man trapped in a castle, and the ordeals that he must go through to eat.
A group of people hiding from the Camoran Usurper witness the unusal birth of his son.
A folk tale of a woodcutter's wife cursed for her deeds.
Never steal from a women on her wedding day
A thief's most valiant theft.
A tale of thievery and betrayal.
The story of someone being captured by the Berne Vampires and being kept as cattle. This book raises your sneak skill.
Another book of Hallgerd series, telling about the story of a lesser daedra and a great archer hero.
A ridiculous book about madness.
I have yet to do a single thing in
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King: Wanderer! Thank the gods you've come! The prophecy told us that a mighty warrior would arise, worthy of wielding Fjalnir, the God-axe, and slaying the evil Demon Prince Synraith. We believe you to be that warrior. What say you, traveler? Will you accept this task?
Me: Yea, verily I shall accept thine task and vanq- wait, Synraith? Fiery dude in a floating city? Cape made out of screeching souls? Ahhh, shit. I already killed that guy.
King: You ... already slew the Demon Prince, the Knife in the Dark, the Void at the Heart of All Men, whose identity you did not learn until just now?
Me: Yup. I saw that castle floating up in the sky, and I wanted to know if I could jump up the rocks to get in the back way. It took a lot of reloads, but I finally managed to hop on up in there.
King: You "hopped on up" into the Abyssal Palace?
Me: Yeeeep, yep yep yep. Just squat-jumped on in there and looted the place. Then I killed that Sydney guy-
King: Synraith, Demon Prince of the Abyss.
Me: -yeah him. I ganked that guy. Mostly just to see if I could. Plus he looked like kind of a dick.
King: Indeed, the Foulest of the Foul was "kind of a dick." But you vanquished him without the aid of sacred Fjalnir, the God-axe?
Me: Totally. It wasn't even a thing. I just hid on top of a bookshelf where he couldn't reach me and shot him with arrows. Then I waited until he forgot I was shooting him, and did it all again to get the sneak damage bonus. Took a while, but he died all the same.
King: Forsooth! Thine heroic deeds are ... well, that sounds kind of fucked up, actually. Never thought I'd feel bad for He Who Devours. So you have no need of our sacred totem weapon?
Me: What, the gold dealy, with the shiny bits? Nah, I already stole that out of the display case four hours ago, before I knew who you were. I gave it to Sven, but he Quantum Leaped out of the game with that shit.
King: Huh. So. I guess ... the bards will ... sing of your tale now?
Me: Oh yeah? Sweet, let's hear it.
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You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter, Facebook and Google+. Or you could do none of those things, because you're currently playing Skyrim until your eyes bleed, stopping only to read more about Skyrim before returning to Skyrim.
For more of Brockway's video game escapades, check out When Video Games Get Stuck In Your Head and 5 Ways 'Arkham City' Proves I'm Under Qualified to be Batman.
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